The Past is in the Past
by CrystalHauntress
Summary: Her heart twinges, making her miss her own parents, her mother more than her father. She didn't get to say goodbye to her mother. She didn't get to tell her that she loved her or give her a hug. And she never will. One-shot.


When she sees the brown haired woman, her heart twinges. The woman is no doubt with her daughters and husband, seeing her daughters off on their three years worth of magical schooling at Alfea College for Fairies.

Seeing the happy family makes her eyes water. But she refuses to let the tears fall. She's learned the hard way that giving in to your emotions makes you a wreck. She closes her eyes and her grip hardens on her suitcase and backpack.

When she opens them after making sure the tears won't slip down her cheeks, she turns her head to the family again. The red haired girl is giving her mother and father a hug. They stay in that position for a long time. Musa thinks they would have stayed frozen in that moment for a long, long time if the blond haired, somehow-_slightly-_more-graceful- and-majestic-than-her-sister, girl didn't put her hand on the redhead's shoulder and whisper something in her ear. The redhead releases her parents and picks up her backpack and suitcase, then turns to the school. They walk towards the school and have engaged themselves in a conversation.

Musa lets her gaze drift towards the two parents. The woman is in silent tears. Her husband has his arm round her shoulders. Again, her heart twinges, making her miss her own parents, her mother more than her father. She didn't get to say goodbye to her mother. She didn't get to tell her that she loved her _or _give her a hug.

She sighs and turns back to school. As she is about to walk through the gate, she realizes something. The blonde didn't give her parents a hug _or _say goodbye. She won't get to do that for a year running.

But Musa can't think about that now. Her own education is waiting for her behind the gate of this magnificent looking school. She takes a deep breath, bites her tongue and walks forward.

The flower-shaped gate opens automatically in front of her, and her mouth hangs open in awe and shock. However, she remembers just in time that she is in Magix and she standing at the gate of Alfea, the best fairy training boarding school in the whole of the Magic Dimension.

She walks into the grounds of the school for the first time in her life and feels something tug at her heart. Not pain and sadness, this time, but fear and a sense of... how to describe it... a sense of growing up. A great deal. She is no longer the young, five year old Musa that can get away with everything by crying and putting up a fuss. She is the teenage, sixteen year old Musa that has become more responsible and mature.

She looks around the courtyard. There are hundreds of other girls waiting around. They all seem to be very excited. Some of them are freshmen and the others are older. She somehow feels at ease seeing this.

But then, everything goes wrong. It's surprising how one phrase can change everything. "And then my Mum was like 'oh you're going to do so well, Gerri. I'm proud of you for getting into Alfea!" A brunette girl says to her blonde friend. Musa doesn't hear the rest of the conversation. Her legs stop walking and she doesn't will them to go on. She stands there, staring at the wall. Her mind plays the girl's words over and over in her head, each time focusing on four words: "then my _Mum _said,"

She starts shaking, though she is unaware of the fact. Her mum couldn't say that to her. She never got the chance to. She misses her mum terribly, and another set of tears threaten to fall. Suddenly, a hand waves in front of her face.

"Hello?" She hears, "are you there?" Musa shakes her head, bringing herself out of her poignant stupor.

"Huh?" She sees the blonde and the redhead in front of her, the blonde with her hands on her hips and the redhead with a concerned frown on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry, what did you say?"

The blonde opens her mouth to speak, looking curious and Musa tries to ready herself for the stupid questions that are coming. It has always been this way: people look curious and then they fire questions at her. Questions that give her a heartache and make her want to run off.

But it doesn't happen that way. The red haired girl steps forward and puts a hand on her sister's shoulder. "We were wondering if you would like to check out the dorm rooms with us." She says with confidence. Musa's eyes widen and a feeling of relief washes over her.

"Um, well, it would be nice not to be on my own, but-" Musa can't finish her reply due to the blonde grabbing her arm and pulling her along.

"Great! Let's hit the road! Wait, not road, not road. Um, let's hit the dorms!" She rambles. Musa lets out a high pitched yelp, which is very unlike her. The blonde's long nails dig into her arm and she tries her hardest not to wince.

"Stella!" The redhead scolds. "Let the poor girl go!" 'Stella' lets go of Musa's arm and and puts on a sheepish grin.

"Sorry. I just got carried away, you know?" Again, she giggles sheepishly.

"Hey, it's fine. We all have our moments. W-who are you guys? I mean... what are your names?" Musa asks.

"Well, darling," Stella says, "I'm Princess Stella of Solaria, as we've established." She poses and flaps a hand, pointing to herself. "And this is my new friend Bloo- I mean, Princess Varanda of Callisto." Musa raises an eyebrow. They aren't sisters?

"You... you aren't sisters?" She asks them.

"Hell, no! Sisters?! That'll be the day! Our mother wouldn't have been able to cope if we were sisters!" Stella laughs.

Musa grumbles to herself. What is happening today? She cannot talk about someone else's mother without missing her own. It has never happened before. Sure, she misses her mother a great deal but she's never missed her so much so that a slight reminder would set her off.

"I... I need to go." She turns around and starts walking the other way.

"Wait!" She hears Stella call. She doesn't look back. "Was it something I said?!"

Musa sighs as she walks and hangs her head. Not looking where she is going, she bumps into someone. She staggers and takes a step back, and feels herself falling to the ground. She squeezes her eyes shut tight, waiting for the thump.

But it doesn't come. She feels herself being pulled up my two strong arms that wrap around the middle of her waist. She opens her eyes to see who her rescuer was.

It was a guy. A guy with spiky, magenta hair, stunning violet eyes (wait, what?) and a strong muscular build. She feels her cheeks flush and get warm.

"I-I'm sorry." She manages to stammer.

"No, no. It wasn't your fault. Truly. It was mine. I should have been looking where I was going." He says. "I'm Riven, by the way. I was just on my way to Red Fountain, when I found a picture with a girl's name on the back." He holds out a hand.

_That explains the fact that there is a guy in a _girls _boarding school. _Musa thinks to herself. She takes his hand and shakes it.

"I'm Musa. Nice to meet you." She smiles and proceeds to ask him what the girl's name was. But he beats her to it.

"Wait, did you say your name was Musa?" He asks incredulously.

"Uh, yeah..." She says slowly.

"Then," he fiddles around in his jeans pocket and pulls out what looks like a photo. He holds it out to her, asking, "is this yours?" Musa takes the photo from his hand and gasps. It is a photo of her mother, at her final concert, before... the horrible illness took her over.

"Yes..." she remembers her father giving it to her the day before she left for Alfea. She remembers his words: _this was her last performance. A friend of mine took the photo and handed it to me. I kept this photo for a long time. And now I will hand it over to you, in the hope that you'll cherish it as much as I did. And still do. Don't lose it, Musa. It is my best memory of her and my heart will be broken if anything happens to it. I'm trusting you, my beautiful daughter. With my life. _

How can she have been so careless? Her father has trusted her with his best memory of her mother, telling her not to lose it. And what had she gone and done? Lost it. "Where did you find it?" She asks Riven, holding the photo tight in her hand.

"Just inside the gate. By the wall." He explains. Musa frowns, again hit with a wave of missing her mother. "Are you OK?" He asks, concerned.

"This is my mother. At her last concert ever. And I lost the photo..." she whispers.

"I'm sorry." He says sincerely. She shakes her head.

"You can't. You can't be sorry for something you didn't do..." she whispers again.

Suddenly, something snaps inside of her. She decides not to bottle up her feelings anymore. She knows that this isn't the best time, place or situation, but she has turned desperate. She grabs Riven's shirt and sobs on his shoulder.

Riven, not being the type of guy to be emotional or say anything comforting, doesn't know whether to push her away or offer her support. But come on, a random girl, whom he knows nothing about, other than her name and the fact that her mother is dead, is crying on his shoulder. Literally.

But she's upset. Very upset. And he knows what it feels like when you lose a parent - he had lost both - so ultimately, he should know what to say and how to say it to make her feel better. So he wraps his arms around her waist and waits until her sobs subside a little.

When she quietens, he leans down and whispers in her ear. "It's OK," He says, "I know how you feel. I've lost both my mother and my father." Musa looks up at him, with tears still brimming in her eyes.

"But... I shouldn't be here. I've been able to hold it in for eleven whole tears. Why should I let my guard down now?" She whispers.

"Because it's OK to cry when something like this happens. There's no point in wallowing in your grief." He tells her.

"But... I can't be crying... when you lost both your parents..." She says. His violet eyes look into her navy ones. Her eyes show both pain and sadness, but also selfishness.

"Hey, it's fine. My folks never cared anyway. But from what you've shown me, your mother cared about you. A lot. So, don't worry about me." He says softly. He wipes her tears away with his thumb.

She smiles then, and gives him a hug. What he has said to her was all true. It _is _OK to cry when something terrible like this happens. It _is _OK to let it go and rid yourself of the grief.

But none of that means she'll ever stop missing her mother.


End file.
